Scare To Care
What Fear-Based Activism Gets Wrong—and How We Can Do Better
There’s this logical conclusion that if only people knew how bad things are getting, they would be shaken out of their ineffective stupors, hold the guilty parties accountable and fix this thing.
If we can just yell loud enough about everything that’s going wrong and how badly we feel about it, someone will grab the wheel and steer us away from imminent collision.
My two questions of the day are
What if scaring people into caring isn't just ineffective, it’s actually counterproductive?
What if, in our desperation to prove how bad things are, we become more invested in being right about collapse rather than preventing it?
fear 🚫 desire
Activism that relies on fear assumes that the more urgent and terrifying a crisis appears, the more people will be driven to fight it.
The logic seems sound: fear is a strong motivator, and if people are scared enough they will finally take action.
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Recall that fear triggers a fight-flight-freeze-fawn response. While some people may respond with action, most others respond in less helpful ways.
Too much fear leads to overwhelm, which leads to apathy or withdrawal. When people feel powerless in the face of crisis, they shut down.
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History shows us that the most effective movements offer a compelling vision of what’s possible.
The iconic “I have a dream” speech during the civil rights movement was not a “wow racism is getting really bad” speech, it was a vision for a brighter future.
Desire and vision fuel action.
As any sex educator will tell you, fear and desire are two sides of the same coin.
Fear can act as the brakes inhibiting desire, or it can be the spark that intensifies it. When we recognize and work with both, we gain the power to navigate toward what we truly want—whether in intimacy, relationships, or life itself.
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There are a few steps I found to be effective in pausing the fear cycle to let desire break through:
When you see stuff on the internet that seems bad, here are some fear-cycle-breaker responses to try:
not sharing it / giving it oxygen.
using it to fuel your vision and desire by flipping the coin.
For example, if a lot of money and energy is being invested in a war, imagine in detail what it would be like if that amount of money and energy was going towards peace and prosperity for all living beings.
sharing something else.
Often when we have the instinct to share the bad thing with social media or the group chat, it is because we want connection with others to help regulate the nervous system. However, consider that getting connection with others does not require sharing the bad thing. You can actually share anything to achieve connection. Go outside and take a pretty picture and share that instead.
Consider who wants you to be afraid / angry / despairing and why
Focus on your desire and vision and engage in concrete action
Define what you DO want for the world
Identify your resources and skillsets that can make that vision a reality
Work together with others who share your vision
correct → effective
When the world feels like it is spiraling out of control, one way to regain a sense of certainty is to predict disaster.
If we can see the collapse coming and warn others, we feel like we have control over at least one thing: our ability to say I told you so.
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When we fixate on proving how bad things are rather than finding ways to change them, we fall into a trap. We may be right about the problem, but that correctness does not translate into meaningful impact.
The desire to be right is deeply human, especially when we feel small in the face of systemic issues. But it’s also a form of self-protection. If we are convinced that things are hopeless, we never have to risk trying and failing.
Predicting collapse can become an oddly comforting identity.
Making real impact requires humility.
It requires the willingness to try something that might not work.
It requires the willingness to try your best at something and be open to the idea that you may only find out it was not enough when it is too late.
Only action can prevent disaster. Being correct about an impending disaster does not prevent it.
paying attention
There’s an expectation that if you truly care about an issue, you should be enraged at all times. “If you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention.”
Anger is a natural and valid response to injustice, but it is not sustainable fuel for long-term activism. It burns hot and it burns out.
Effective activism requires strategic thinking, relationship-building, and long-term planning. Movements require a broader emotional range: grief, joy, determination, desire, and love.
Desire and vision offer a way to move beyond ego-based “collapse prediction” activism and fear-based “scare-to-care” activism.
What is our dream for the future? How can we make our dreams louder than the fear and collapse?
“Desire and vision fuel action.”
Indeed! Super important.
I’ll add a quote from someone who doesn’t exactly fit the mold of a progressive hero, but there’s something to be learned nonetheless:
“No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.”
-General George S. Patton
31 May 1944 Speech to members of the Third Army
Another great post, Bri! It reminds me of things I've read/heard about the importance of focusing on what we want and moving toward that instead of avoiding what we don't want. Way back when, I was addicted to golf for about 2 years. One time, I played a round of golf with a woman who had played golf professionally. She said something I've never forgotten: "Instead of trying to avoid the sand trap, aim where you want the ball to go. If you only focus on avoiding a hazard, too often the ball goes somewhere else just as bad. You'll end up saying, `Well, the ball didn't go where I didn't want it to go, but it also didn't go where I _did_ want it to go.' Focus on what you want to have happen instead of what you don't want."